i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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