The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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