Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
