the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
