I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
