we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
