I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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