She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize