I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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