It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
His nipple licking is glorious
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