No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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