the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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