Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
