I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
