why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
