ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
