Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
