all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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