the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
