he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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