a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
