Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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