ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize