If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
