make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
