So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
