Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
