I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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