Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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