Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
