Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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