i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
