peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize