sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
