When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
