I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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