well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
