you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
