Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
