oh god the rape fog is back!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
