i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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