We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I made him laugh his dick is mine
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
