Who wears a wallet chain?!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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