the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
