shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
