My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
