When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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