you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
