He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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