physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize