In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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