i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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