i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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