I want to have your abortion
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize