It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
