It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
