I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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