He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
