I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
