We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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