She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
