just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
