I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
